Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Day of Surgery (2nd surgery)

The night prior to surgery I experienced De Ja Vu - didn't sleep well, up early and couldn't eat breakfast (which was good as I wasn't allowed to anyway!).  We were told to arrive at the hospital a little earlier than last time (7.30am) and experienced a far better check-in than the previous visit.  I was taken up to my room where Ryan and I watched a couple of episodes of The Hills on the iPad and it wasn't long before they came to take me up to theatre.  Once again, Ryan came with me and I remember crying even prior to being wheeled into the pre-op room.  The enormity of the situation all became too much and I couldn't believe I was having to go through all of this AGAIN!

Before long I had to say goodbye to Ryan and was moved to theatre.  I don't recall falling asleep this time but remember waking at 12.50pm.  The reason I remember the time so well was because our Jaz was performing in her school concert at 1.15pm and I was going to miss it :(  Unfortunately Ryan also missed it as he said he wanted to be with me when I woke up.  Thankfully Ryan's wonderful Stepdad and Ryan's Nanna went to support Jaz for us.

I was finally taken back to my room where Ryan was waiting for me.  Lizzy arrived a short time later and following this I decided I need to visit the bathroom.  They both helped me sit up and get to and from the toilet however on my return I felt incredibly faint and asked them to call the nurse.  I got to the bed in time and just sat on the edge - my head was spinning.  I also became very hot and asked them to open the door to my balcony (it was probably only 15 degrees but I just needed to cool down and quickly!).  I lost all colour and was in a lot of pain.  The nurses gave me a shot of pethidine and after a short time I started to feel a little better.  My dinner arrived around 5pm and although I was starving the thought of eating made me feel really unwell.  I hadn't eaten for 24 hours however it crossed my mind that if I try and eat something it might make me feel better.  Well this backfired and after taking a bite of my bread roll I thought I was going to be sick.  The nurses were great and gave me another injection to counteract the nausea.  I wasn't able to eat anything further but at least the drugs started to work.

I couldn't believe how sore I was this time around.  I really thought I would have been more sore after my 1st lot of surgery but this wasn't the case.  I was worried about this and explained my concerns to my surgeon who wasn't surprised and went on to say that they extended my previous incision further under my arm, had removed some tissue along with the lymph nodes and more nerves were involved. 

I woke up the next morning and was able to eat my breakfast - I needed some energy!  Not long after this Ryan arrived and I had quite a few visitors.  One of them was my boss and he brought in a framed photo of my favourite Eagles player - Mark LeCras who had written a personalised message just for me!!  I couldn't believe it and nothing was going to wipe the smile off my face.  It honestly made my day :)  Apart from feeling sore I was very upbeat and was looking forward to getting a good rest before returning home on Friday.

Friday arrived and I was given the all clear to go home.  Was very excited, albeit still very sore.  The drain was removed which was a huge relief and Ryan took me home.  There were some amazing gifts and flowers waiting for me which lifted my spirits and after washing my hair (with 1 hand!) we headed out to the shops - was so nice to have some normality back in my life.

I had some big kisses and cuddles with my girls when they arrived home from school & daycare.  It was wonderful to be home and I was feeling pretty good.

On Saturday morning the stark truth of what I was facing came to an abrupt return when Jaz saw me in the bathroom getting ready to have a shower.  I was worried about her seeing my scar as I didn't want it to frighten her but knew that she would see it as some stage.  I remember becoming extremely emotional when I saw her face drop and ask 'oh mummy, what happened' and 'what has the doctor done to you'.  She knew that I was sick but she didn't really know the extent of my surgery until that moment.  I had to explain that in order to make me better I would have this big scar.  As much as it was a very hard moment, I was kind of relieved that she had now seen it.

I am starting to feel a little better (pain wise) although had a few teary moments today.  I know that I am going to have some good days and bad days coming up but for now I am trying to enjoy the good ones :)