Tuesday, 2 August 2011

'Twas the night before Chemo

So after 3 weeks of recovering from my surgery, Chemo is well and truly on the doorstep!  It feels like I first met my Oncologist just a few days ago but in another sense it feels like I haven't seen her for months.  My wonderful family and friends have kept me very distracted over the past few weeks and there have been days where I haven't cried at all - phew, I can slow down on the purchasing of tissues!     

My rehabilitation is going well although my physiotherapist is a Nazi!  Don't get me wrong, she is very good but after my first appointment I was on painkillers and a heat pack for days!  She really does push me but I suppose in a way she has to.  I need to make sure I regain full use of my right arm especially as this is my 'preferred' arm.

I was very excited to return to work this week after several weeks break.  I honestly couldn't have been happier!  It was so wonderful to see all of my amazing work friends and they made it even more special by hosting an organic morning tea for me - we had popcorn, corn chips, guacamole, fruit and it was delicious!!  They have decided, however, that they don't like the word organic and will instead call it 'organza' - and I love it :)  I left just after lunch today and was a little sad.  At this stage I am not sure when I will be returning.  I haven't wanted to commit to a return date yet in case I am not well during Chemo.

Well this brings me back to tomorrow - my first session of Chemo.  I am full of emotion.  The over-riding feeling is one of unknown.  I wish I knew how I would be feeling this time tomorrow night or in a couple of days.  As I have been told time and time again, I should expect the worst and if I only have a couple of side effects, then I am doing well.  I think it is going to be difficult and maybe even confronting making my way into the Chemo day unit tomorrow.  Returning to the hospital will no doubt make it all hit home again so I should go and pack some tissues in my bag now whilst I remember :)

After reading all of my Chemo notes again, I think I am prepared as I can be.  I started taking my pre-meds tonight to help with any nausea.  This will also need to be taken tomorrow morning, tomorrow night and again the following day.  I also need to have an injection the day after Chemo to boost my immune system.  This will be done at The Mount on Thursday (one day after my first Chemo treatment) although my Mum has offered to do this for me going forward once she has seen the experts do it the first time around.  I am relieved about this as it will save me having to return back to The Mount again.  Poor Ryan's not too excited about sticking a needle in my tummy and I don't blame him. 

Once again, a very big thank you again to my special family and friends for their loving support.  I would also like to make special mention of Organic Home - can you believe the Think Pink for Emma candles have raised over $1000 in just a couple of days.  AMAZING!!!  

In finishing I wanted to share with you the very precious message my wonderful husband wrote on my 'Never, Never, Never Give Up' poster - it brings me to tears every time!

"To my beautiful wife Emma,

We have spoken many times of how lucky we are and often wondered if our bubble would one day burst.  If this is our challenge in life, our stumbling block, our burst bubble, then together we are most definitely up to the fight!

With the love and support of our family and friends there is no doubt in my mind that you will overcome this cancer with pure strength and determination.

We know there will be some difficult days ahead of you.  On those days when you are at your lowest, when you feel like it is all too hard, I want you to read these messages from your many friends and family and remember just how much we all love you.

Then I want you to think of our girls; Jasmine and Baylee.  Think of all the things we have to look forward too, watching them grow up.  Everything you do from this point on will be for them.  Our little family doesn't work without you babe!  Never, Never, Never Give Up!
Love always,